The Neon Demon

The Neon Demon

8 out of 10

Nicolas Winding Refn's latest film The Neon Demon is absolutely mesmerizing in its visuals, earning himself the title of "visionary director". While it is undoubtedly a success on a visual level, the film features a relatively thin script with flimsy characters and incredibly disturbing content. While its stylized visuals may make the film feel inaccessible to the average filmgoer, further reflection will reveal the movie, much like the industry it examines, to be unquestionably gorgeous but incredibly vapid. Surprisingly, the film's third act is its strongest but veers sharply into dark and disturbing territory, featuring what the MPAA describes as "aberrant sexuality" and violent content that warrants a word far stronger than "disturbing". While I left the theater miserable and feeling physically ill, the movie has yet to exit my mind and I'm am sure I will be seeing again in the coming days.

8 1/2

8 1/2

7 out of 10

Enthralling in its visuals, fascinating in its complexity, and occasionally infuriating in its obscurity, Fellini's surreal masterpiece 8 1/2 is not particularly accessible but is ultimately incredibly rewarding for those who can truly invest themselves.

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

5 out of 10

While some of the gags land successfully, Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising fails due to an overall lack of substance. Despite featuring promising commentary surrounding sexism and rape culture at its beginning, any worthwhile message gets lost in contradictory jokes about"Tumblr Feminists", forced exposition, and thin scripting. Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising is a brainless, occasionally hilarious comedy. Nothing more, nothing less.

Where to Invade Next

Where to Invade Next

7 out of 10

Where to Invade Next, the newest film from Michael Moore, is poignant and polarizing, once again showcasing Moore's liberal ideas, snarky commentary, and considerable talent as a documentary film maker. 

Halloween II (H2)

Halloween II (H2)

0.5 out of 10

Halloween II, sequel to the subpar Halloween (2007), is so savagely violent and poorly made that I simply could not sit through it. As a avid American filmgoer, I have become desensitized to violence... But the senseless sawing through flesh is simply not something I was willing to see... Granted you can't really "see" a large portion of this movie due to the poor, amateur lighting... Seriously, this looks like something that would be uploaded to YouTube by some bored high school horror fans. While Halloween II is truly unpleasant, it still wasn't as bad as 50 Shades of Black, the standard for a zero out of ten and thus receives half a point.

Note: I could only sit through 25 minutes of this movie. While some may argue it is impossible to rate a movie without seeing it in full, I would say that if the beginning of the movie is so awful as to make me refuse to continue, that speaks volumes to its quality.

Verdict: 0.5/10

Halloween (2007)

Halloween (2007)

2.5 out of 10

John Carpenter's horror classic gets a subpar remake in Halloween (2007). To the film's credit, it isn't just a blood soaked carbon copy. However, the changes to the story, namely the addition of a lengthy Michael Meyers backstory, are a detriment to the film, robbing the boogeyman of the mystery behind the mask but failing to build any sort of sympathy, leaving me to wonder: why is this movie a thing? Take the useless additions to the story, add script with laughable inconsistencies, soak it in blood and film it through the unsteady lens of a Rob Zombie movie and you have Halloween (2007).

Halloween

Halloween

7 out of 10

John Carpenter's seminal horror classic Halloween is a masterpiece of slow build tension but does not withstand the test of time. While it features one of my favorite scores to ever accompany a movie and is refreshing in its lack of gore, what originally made this movie so fresh has since been copied many times by lesser films, the result being a classic that feels unoriginal when it is, in fact, THE original.

I Smile Back

I Smile Back

7 out of 10

I Smile Back is not without its flaws, but thanks to a jaw dropping performance by Sarah Silverman in a serious role, it is effectively able to showcase the hidden dependence and depression lying beneath the facade of domesticity. Those expecting Silverman's brand of laughs will likely be disappointed and shocked by the unsettling nature of the film, but it's disturbing nature is undoubtably a testament to its quality.

Bachelorette

Bachelorette

4.5 out of 10

Despite a few laughs and entertaining moments, Bachelorette fails due to startlingly inept exploration of social issues and a cast of unlikeable characters that fail to grow by the end of the film, adding up an uninspired and completely forgettable movie.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns

8 out 10

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns is a loyal, panel by panel adaptation of Frank Miller's iconic graphic novel. The complex story and exploration of moral quandaries through the eyes of the caped crusader are brought to life with a talented voice cast and solid animation. It's fair to say Batman: The Dark Knight Returns does its source material justice and is a must-see for any true Batman fanatic. 

Heathers

Heathers

5.5 out 10

Seminal as it may be, the stylized satire that permeates the moral vacuum that is Heathers is deeply disturbing. While its message is cutting, the viewing experience as a whole is largely unpleasant and will only inspire laughs in the more twisted moviegoer.

Entourage

Entourage

3 out of 10

Filmed in a beautifully sunny Los Angeles and lighthearted, possibly to a fault, Entourage is a movie that will not please anyone except hardcore fans of the show. It's dialogue is clunky and inauthentic, the performances are stunted because of it, and the mass quantities of pointless celebrity cameos is exhausting, adding up to a subpar movie.

The Final Girls

The Final Girls

8 out of 10

Equal parts slasher thrills, meta humor, and surprisingly tender moments, The Final Girls is a wildly creative satire of 80's slashers that is nothing short of awesome.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

7.5 out of 10

By far the darkest of the series, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 showcases the more brutal aspects of war in a subdued fashion that is digestible for younger audiences and brings the series to a satisfying close. Jennifer Lawrence gives her best Katniss performance and viewers should enjoy seeing the final moves of the political play for control of Panem and despite an annoyingly messy resolution, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 is one of the more solid installments in the series.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

1 out of 10

While Zack Snyder's direction remains as ascetically pleasing as ever, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is nothing more than an offensively awful cash grab. 10% visually striking but entirely unexciting action, 90% melodramatic, pseudo-intellectual, shockingly inept dialogue and 100% wasted potential, this movie manages to be grim and brooding while carrying zero emotional resonance. Arguably the biggest disappointment since The Phantom Menace, Batman v Superman is a painful viewing experience and inspires fear for the future of the DC universe.

(500) Days of Summer

(500) Days of Summer

10 out of 10

Refreshing, unconventional, hilarious, and heartbreaking, (500) Days of Summer is a rare example of a near perfect film. Viewers will love exploring Summer's various complexities in a beautifully filmed San Diego. The filmmaking techniques are quirky, the technique of nonlinear story telling is effective, and the soundtrack is amazing, amounting to a delightful viewing experience.

Neighbors

Neighbors

4 out of 10

While my peers and critics alike have hailed Neighbors as "so funny", in reality, Neighbors is a raunchy, hard-R comedy that is overhyped, underwhelming, and mildly amusing at best.

Space Jam

Space Jam

2 out of 10

With an underdeveloped premise and dated animation, Space Jam is a vaguely nostalgic, shoddily assembled mess. The sheer hyperactivity of film overwhelms as colorful gags are shoved down the viewers throat in frightening quantity. While I appreciate the brief moments of self-awareness, Space Jam is simply not as good as it seemed when I was 4 and will likely inspire eye rolling and exhaustion from your anyone who watches it today.

West Side Story

West Side Story

7.5 out of 10

West Side Story is a lively and colorful retelling of Shakespeare's classic story of ill-fated lovers from different backgrounds. While its story isn't the most original, the memorable music and expert choreography earn this film a place among the classics and remain a prime example of seamless stage to screen translation.

The Night Before

The Night Before

5.5 out of 10

Although I have grown weary of Seth Rogen's drug fueled antics, The Night Before manages to mine some hearty laughs out of its familiar premise, even if it largely squanders its emotional potential, the dialogue at the emotional climax failing I pack an emotional punch. Alas, watching Seth Rogen get high is still marginally entertaining.

Sleeping With Other People

Sleeping With Other People

7 out of 10

While it conforms to a lot of genre clichés in the last 20 minutes and isn't nearly as funny as it thinks it is, Sleeping With Other People does manage success thanks to candid and realistic discussion of sex, genuine moments, and an unnecessary dance number to boot!

The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid

6.5 out of 10

The Little Mermaid is not the most complex of the Disney collection and may leave mature viewers feeling unfulfilled, but its catchy tunes and bright animation will have the children dancing with joy. It's a perfectly passable and enjoyable children's movie, but after seeing it once, you can just pop it in the player for the children and go on with your day.

Human Nature

Human Nature

3 out 10

While it is just as bizarre as the rest of Charlie Kaufman's work, Human Nature carries with it a mere fraction of the emotional resonance, humor, social commentary, and narrative complexity, cementing itself as one of the weaker entries in Kaufman's filmography.

Aladdin

Aladdin

8 out of 10

With Broadway caliber music and laugh out loud moments, largely thanks to Robin Williams as Genie, Aladdin is a family flick that is a cut above the rest and is fun for all ages.

Still Alice

Still Alice

9.5 out of 10

Thanks to a beautifully convincing performance by Julianne Moore, Still Alice examines the heart-breaking realities of living and loving with Alzheimer's. Guaranteed to tug at the heartstrings of any human with a heart, Still Alice brings the horrific disease to life in an effective, graceful, and dignified manner. A character driven drama that shouldn't be missed.

The Thing (1982)

The Thing

8 out of 10

With some of the most grotesque practical effects in recent memory, John Carpenter's The Thing is a suspenseful, claustrophobic, gory, paranoia-inducing creature feature that withstands the test of time.

Sisters

Sisters

6 out of 10

While its jokes are largely hit or miss, the undeniable chemistry between Tina Fey and Amy Poehler saves this geriatric Project X from being a disaster like Baby Mama and is, in fact, occasionally hilarious.

Baby Mama

Baby Mama

4 out of 10

Squandering the comedic prowess of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, Baby Mama is the comedic power couple's jump to the big screen that can only be described as disappointing.

Irrational Man

Irrational Man

3 out of 10

While the luster of Woody Allen's direction is ever present, Irrational Man suffers from fuzzy character motivations and uncharacteristically inept story telling techniques, passive exposition often conveying information regarding unseen conflict. With one-dimensional, uninteresting characters and packed with unnecessary narration, Irrational Man fails to effectively navigate the moral quandaries of the philosophical minefield and leave any substantial impact.

Cloverfield

Cloverfield

7 out of 10

Although the horrifically jerky camera work will give every viewer whiplash, Cloverfield effectively utilizes its found footage format to create a suitably scary and grim creature-feature that leaves the viewer with a lot of questions and no answers.

M*A*S*H

M*A*S*H

1.5 out of 10

The antics of the 4077th MASH feel politically insensitive in today's world, the result being a meandering narrative and offensive jokes adding up to an all around awful viewing experience.

Titanic

Titanic

9 out of 10

Syrupy and melodramatic as it may be, Titanic is the prime example of blockbuster filmmaking done right. Half love story and half big-budget disaster movie, Titanic has something for everyone. The characters are genuine and their chemistry is palpable, effectively building a connection with the audience. The carnage is intense, the big budget being utilized to its full potential. It may not be the most original, but Titanic is pulse-pounding while still managing to tug on the heartstrings and is a epic love story that will never cease to entertain.

The Stanford Prison Experiment

The Stanford Prison Experiment

6.5 out of 10

As The Stanford Prison Experiment progresses and a dark side humanity is exposed, viewers can do nothing but watch in terror. While it is powerful acted and tastefully directed, the disturbing nature of this slow moving thriller may repel some viewers. Those who do decide to volunteer to watch this film may not find their attention captured, the film being fascinating and interesting but not entertaining.

The Godfather

The Godfather

6.5 out of 10

While it isn't as compelling as its should be given its fame, The Godfather features great performances and is an important landmark in film history. Yes, it's most iconic scenes feature violence that was extreme for the time, however, The Godfather was the first movie to feature a morally corrupt protagonist that doesn't get punished at the end of the film. This bold move allowed films to explore the grey areas of morality and paved the way for modern cinema, solidifying itself as an iconic and essential film, even if it may not captivate modern audiences.

Pulp Fiction

Pulp Fiction

8.5 out of 10

Although it completely loses me in the second act, Pulp Fiction features some of the most iconic scenes in modern movie history. Stylistically pleasing and expertly written, it is a zany cinematic masterpiece that is sure to please viewers... Even though it does get WAY too weird in the basement of that pawn shop.

The Silence of the Lambs

The Silence of the Lambs

7.5 out of 10

Featuring a legendary performance by Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter, The Silence of the Lambs is a deeply disturbing thriller that will make your skin crawl (while we are discussing skin, if you have any extra skin lying around... for whatever reason... send it to Buffalo Bill. I hear he needs it for a little arts and crafts project). Overall, thanks to stellar performances and understated direction, The Silence of the Lambs will unsettle and haunt you long after the credits roll.

Forrest Gump

Forrest Gump

3 out of 10

Slightly offensive, emotionally manipulative, and relying on a painful series of plot conveniences to drive the movie forward, Forrest Gump is a obscenely overrated movie that is, in reality, subpar at best.

The Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz

9 out of 10

While I have, after countless viewings, grown weary of Dorothy's incessant complaining, The Wizard of Oz remains an absolutely timeless classic. Children and adults alike will never cease to be enchanted by this endearing technicolor masterpiece.

Taxi Driver

Taxi Driver

8.5 out of 10

Taxi Driver is the chilling and compelling tale of an insomniac taxi driver's descent into insanity. Possibly Scorsese's best film and arguably DiNero's most iconic role, this is a film that delves into the grimy underbelly of 1970's New York through the eyes of a moralistic but morally ambiguous loner. The result is fascinating and while you may not always like what you see, when the credit roll, you'll be glad you saw it.

The Good Dinosaur

The Good Dinosaur

7 out of 10

While its character animation pales in comparison to the gorgeous and meticulously detailed landscapes, The Good Dinosaur has no trouble making you care for its protagonists. While its plot is stunningly simple and, at times, feels like The Revenant for children, The Good Dinosaur is a movie that the kids will love and the parents won't hate.

Ricki and the Flash

Ricki and the Flash

7 out of 10

While its unoriginal and formulaic in nearly every way, Ricki and the Flash effectively mines the family unit for toothless drama and is an enjoyably inoffensive, if unremarkable, movie. You've seen it done a million times before, but you'll probably enjoy it the million and first time too.

Star Wars

Star Wars

7 out of 10

While its narrative is simplistic and the effects look dated, Star Wars will remain an enchanting and entertaining space adventure until the end of time. Anyone who has, by some bizarre series of events, not seen Star Wars will probably not become a convert, their opinion being formed without nostalgia's influence. Those who grew up with Star Wars will find it as enjoyable as ever.

Youth

Youth

4 out of 10

While it is an absolute feast for the eyes, Youth fails to convey the insight required to secure a place in my long term memory. While it does pack a minor emotional punch in its final act, it simply doesn't make the connection for which it strove. However, I must say; watching wrinkled, unhappy intellectuals talk about their unhappiness never looked so visually appealing. Undeniably well-made but disappointing hollow, Youth is a viewing experience I intend to leave in the past.

To Kill a Mockingbird

To Kill a Mockingbird

4 out of 10

Much like the novel that inspired it, To Kill a Mockingbird failed to personally resonate and thus collapses, the basis of its narrative being the concept of compassion. While my score is low and sure to evoke the ire of many, remember that film criticism is subjective and that if a film fails to resonate, it can rarely achieve more than mediocrity. In my particular case, To Kill a Mockingbird failed. Regardless, I admire the film as a classic.

Psycho

Psycho

9 out of 10

Psycho is a masterpiece that still holds up, effectively making us fear the darkest recesses of our own psyches. Instrumental in the development of the slasher genre and pushing the boundaries of censorship, it is truly a historic film. Furthermore, to Psycho's credit, anything that can make us fear shower curtains, even 50 years after its initial release, clearly did something right.

Ant-Man

Ant-Man

6 out of 10

While Ant-Man lacks the pulse pounding action found in the best of Marvel's oeuvre, instead feeling more comical than anything, it is nonetheless an entertaining comic-book adaptation for one of Marvel's lamest superheroes.

The Maltese Falcon

The Maltese Falcon

6 out of 10

Although undoubtably dated, The Maltese Falcon remains a pinnacle of classic noir, showcasing the moral ambiguity of crime and deftly manipulating viewer's loyalties. While a mainstream audience may not find much to love, The Maltese Falcon should be considered essential viewing any film fanatics looking to delve into the history of cinema.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

9 out of 10

Its scenes of violence against women some of the most brutal I have ever sat through, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is an expertly-crafted, slow-burn mystery that will delight and disturb viewers who can manage to survive the film's lengthy runtime and sadistic violence. Further enhanced by David Fincher's strong direction and Rooney Mara's incredibly dedicated performance, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is absolutely riveting.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

2 out of 10

While I can understand why children enjoy it and I recognize it as an important piece of film history and as a technical achievement in 1937, watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs for the first time in 2016, I can confidently say I hated it. From its syrupy sweetness to its annoying music, this classic of children's cinema is beautifully animated but painfully unamusing.